pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
