but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
