i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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