I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
