sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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