Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
