shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I look better un-naked...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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