Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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