Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
