About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
