"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
