He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
