Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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