you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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