dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
