You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
