I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
