Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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