I think im going to throw up on grandma
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
