you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
