And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
