ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
