what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
