god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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