Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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