Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
