therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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