I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
