This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
