i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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