Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
