Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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