D3 body, D1 cock
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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