Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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