so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
