if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So many bounce houses so little time
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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