I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
