You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
