Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
