It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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