Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
