Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
