I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
