wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
