At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
