Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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