fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
