Got a toothbrush?
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
