I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
