I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
