My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
